10-Minute Play V. 1

[DARLA walks into a coffee shop and scowls. Thomas is behind the counter.]

THOMAS
Well, you look like a bowl of sunshine this morning.

DARLA
You are wearing green.

THOMAS
I am.

DARLA
And it’s Friday.

THOMAS
It is.

DARLA
I get 20 bucks!!

[DARLA sits down on the counter and begins to dig through the tip jar on the counter, taking bills out.]

THOMAS
Ah, c’mon, Darla. The pink shirt was dirty. I’ll wear it tomorrow.

DARLA
No! I chose today because I knew you were hanging with your manly-man, homophobic guy friends. Besides, I need new charcoal pencils. So deal.

[THOMAS sighs and begins to make DARLA a latte.]

THOMAS
You know, maybe I should avoid pink for a while. I just came out to them, like, two weeks ago. I wouldn’t want to scare them.

DARLA
Ha! Scare them! They like playing football and shooting wild bears, but one gay kid comes along and they duck for cover.

THOMAS
D*** straight. Us gay kids are scary. [looking out the window.] Did you get a new car?!

DARLA
Sure did! Saved up for the beast and everything.

THOMAS
[Staring off into space, day dreaming]
I need a car…

DARLA
I’d say. I’m really getting sick of driving you around. If I didn’t need the rent money, I don’t think I’d bother.

THOMAS
Thanks.

DARLA
Oh, come on now, you know I love you, dude. Man up.

[THOMAS shakes his head and starts cleaning things behind the counter, wiping down things, ect.]

THOMAS
So what are you planning for tonight?

DARLA
I don’t know yet. Haven’t really thought about it. [Pauses to think.] Ooh, I know, we should throw a party!

THOMAS
I can’t. I’m hanging out with the Scouts guys tonight. You know that.

DARLA
You can invite them.

THOMAS
A party? With my friends and your friends?

DARLA
Sure! It’ll be fun!

THOMAS
Fun isn’t quite the word I’d use.

DARLA
And what word would you use?

THOMAS
Oh, something along the lines of disastrous.

DARLA
You, Tommy, are a pessimist. It would be extraordinary fun! Like one big social experiment!

THOMAS
You want to experiment on our friends?

DARLA
Why not? Life is a stage!

THOMAS
Wrong metaphor.

DARLA
Life is a…laboratory!

THOMAS
Bad metaphor. You, my dear, are a sick, twisted woman.

DARLA
You just want your stupid Scouts friends to like and accept you.

THOMAS
Is that so wrong?

DARLA
Your friends should accept you for who you are, Thomas. If those guys can’t, then

that’s their problem.

THOMAS
Easier said than done. Besides, I don’t think you of all people should be talking.

DARLA
What do you mean?

THOMAS
Must I remind you of a certain Robert...and, um, blue hair dye?

DARLA
OK, 1. How dare you bring that up! And 2. There is a distinct difference between

doing stupid stuff for a lover and doing stupid stuff for friends.

THOMAS
If you say so.
DARLA
Unless…Oh my God, you’re in love with one of the Scouts!
THOMAS
I am not!

DARLA
You are! You totally are! Which one? The one with the good hair? Because there’s

only one with good hair. It better be the one with good hair.

[THOMAS sighs]

THOMAS
I’m not in love with one of the Scouts guys and even if I was, that wouldn’t change

the fact that I care what they think about me.

DARLA
Uh-huh. Whatever you say.

[The door opens and CARIE walks in]

CARIE
What’s up, kidlets?

DARLA
Thomas is in love with one of the Scouts guys.

CARIE
[To THOMAS]
Really? The one with good hair?

THOMAS
I am not in love with one of the Scouts guys.

DARLA
He so is.

[THOMAS throws his arms into the air and flings his head back in frustration. CARIE laughs.]

CARIE
Hey, drama queen, make me a latte, would ya?

THOMAS
Yeah, yeah. Quit complaining. It’s free. You can’t complain about free stuff.

CARIE
I can complain about whatever I’d like, thank you very much.

DARLA
I have a complaint to offer.

THOMAS
Why am I not at all surprised by that?

DARLA
When can we leave? I mean, didn’t your shift end 5 minutes ago?

THOMAS
We can leave as soon as Mark gets here. He’s late, as usual.

[CARIE looks down, suddenly sad]

DARLA
Hey! You do not get to be sad about that d-bag. He’s d-bag. You’re much better off without him.

CARIE
Yeah, I guess.

DARLA
Well, I know. So there. You know what would get your mind off Mark?

CARRIE
What?

DARLA
A party. At my place. With Tommy’s Scouts friends.

CARIE
[laughing]
That would be quite the little event.

DARLA
I know, right? Free entertainment: what could be better?

THOMAS
OK, just so we’re clear: I’m opposed to you using our friends as a social experiment and as

entertainment.

DARLA
[To CARIE] He can be so boring sometimes.



THOMAS
Darla, remember when you said if you didn’t need the rent money you would bother with

me?

DARLA
Yeah?

THOMAS
Well, if I didn’t need a place to stay, I’d kill you.

[CARIE laughs and THOMAS smiles]

DARLA
Oh, thanks, Thomas, I love you too!

THOMAS
Just spreading the love. Reciprocating, you know.

CARIE
And I love both you dorks!

[MARK walks through the door]

MARK
Sorry I’m late, Tom.

THOMAS
[Taking an ugly, brown apron off]
I feel like I’ve heard that before.

DARLA
Oh, Thomas, leave the smock on! It’s so hip this season!

THOMAS
Oh, shut up Darla!

MARK
[Noticing CARIE he speaks more quietly.]
Hi, Carie.

CARIE
[Timidly, tugging on her shirt sleeve]
Hi.

DARLA
Hi, Mark! Bye, Mark! Let’s go, kids!

[DARLA takes CARIE by the hand and leads her out of the shop. THOMAS follows, tossing the smock at MARK. The end!]

Questions!

1. Was this funny? If yes, which parts? If not, what parts did you think should have been funny?

2. Did the characters seem real? If not, what lines didn't seem real and how should I cange it to make it more real? Were they too mean to each other?

3. Did you understand the connection between them (that they were all friends...except Mark)?

Note: Yes, I realize that they formatting is wrong. I hate blogspot. Ok, I don't hate blogspot. I'm just in a bad mood and too impatient to try to figure out how to center certain lines. Forgive me.